Teenager inserts nob into pastie

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Ben Hardcastle age 15 has been caught behind crusty cob thrusting his nob into a stake bake. He has recently confessed to sexually assaulting many more baked goods including pies,sausage rolls and pasties.Ben has stated that his favourite sausage rolls are the Greg’s ones as they are more flakey and have a thicker filling so they feel way better to shaft on the other hand and said he sometimes treats his self with a custard cream as he loves the consistency.Ben was caught when he inserted his dick into a boiling Cornish pastie as he needed medical attention as his scrotum and his banjo was brunt to a crisp where after he was dealt with was taken to police custody where he confessed to many other sexual assaults . He has since been banned from Greg’s and crusty cob and has recently been released on parole so local bakers beware. The man says that the feeling of the baked treats crusty pastry and warm on his scrotum is oragsmic and authorities are trying to get him into pastry rehab so hopefully he will come clean.As just today Ben has changed his relationship status to married to Greg’s bakery

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.