Windom, MN Doctor Arrested

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After a series of botched attempts, a Windom Mn doctor was arrested for malpractice. Dr Ernest T. Bass was arraigned on Friday for gross misconduct and malpractice. The allegations arose following several police reports identifying that Dr Bass had inappropriately place "squeaky toys" in several breast implants.

One woman (who desires to remain anonymous), described her experience in Windom Happenings UNcensored, a local facebook Group. "It was all my boyfriends idea. He loved his dog that recently passed and thought it would be fun to put his Golden Retriever's favorite squeaky toy in one of my breasts. Everything went fine and we all loved making it squeak until I noticed one day that my breast had an odd shape. It wasn't 3 weeks after the operation that my boob took on the shape of the rubber duck implant. Now it's impossible to find the right bra size.

Another victim chose to do a double implant; one in each breast of plastic football squeaky toys. She adamantly defends Dr Bass and blames the Minnesota Vikings. Unfortunately the squeaky footballs she picked each had Vikings Logos. Less than a week after the surgery both footballs inverted and "sucked" into her chest cavity. "I knew the Vikings sucked, but I didn't think it would be this bad! Now I have a sunken chest and it's all the Viking fault!"

Several other complaints have been filed but none of the victims would come forward and tell their story. Typically this type of elective surgery is promoted to women by boyfriends that enjoy the squeaky sounds. "It's really kinda fun to "honk" my girlfriends boobies", one male wistfully remarked.

Not all Windom women that received the implants are complaining. Several have defended the practice and are actually happy with the results. "Anyone that asks can squeeze my boob and make it squeak. I'm a BIG hit in the Windom Apartment parties!"

A notable Plastic surgeon from outside of the Windom area declared that nowhere else in the US has this type of operation been attempted. "Them Windom people are fucking nuts.", he flatly stated.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.