Secrets Bar in DC to Close
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Secrets Bar in DC is closing permanently due to the COVID 19 pandemic. According to General Manager Crusty Rusty, "we just couldn't survive this challenging time, especially without the significant revenue brought in by longtime patrons Justin Meyer and his husband drunk Brittney." Locals are saddened by the news. Said loyal customer Daniel Rieger of Baltimore, "I made that one guy hard."
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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