You’ll never believe what thieves stole from this school!

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On the evening of Monday, 9th August around 8.45pm neighbours heard the shrill alarm go off at the School for Girls in Essen-Borbeck. This in itself didn’t used to be the most unusual thing to happen, since music or drama teachers conducting late rehearsals with their pupils often used to forget that they cannot enter the staff room at these hours and inserted their keys unwittingly, which immediately set off the alarm. Much to the annoyance of the school’s numerous neighbours.

However, tonight was different, since everyone knows that due to Corona no fun activities of any kind are allowed to take place in schools. So the alarm had to be a real one! When the police at long last realised this and finally arrived at the MGB it was too late however. The damage had already been done. The front door had been broken open by the burglars as had been all of the other doors inside the school and items from the classrooms, staffroom and private lockers was lying around everywhere.

All teachers were asked to come to the crime scene to sort through all the stuff lying around and figure out what exactly had been taken. Clearly, the teachers were not amused having to come to school during the holidays and some even had to cut off their holidays and fly home. So it took a whole week to figure out what actually had been stolen: the complete set of newly bought English books with a net worth of more than 10 000€!

Who could have done such a despicable deed?! Was it the English teachers from the so called “partner” school, the Gymnasium Borbeck because they had forgotten to buy their own books? Or was it someone who has hated learning English all their life and wanted to relieve at least some pupils of this (as they must think) awful subject?

Who ever it was, they need to be found fast! Time is running out since the new school year is about to start and so far the police has not got very far in their investigation. All they have found is this strange black and yellow box with a number of locks on it, that all the teachers and other staff from the school swear they have never seen before…

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.